Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
