come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dick very happy bro
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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