Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs

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(951): View more from California

Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

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(432): View more from Texas

Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?

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