oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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