i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
