why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
