Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i now understand why vodka
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
