i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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