i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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