You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
They have beer where we have blood.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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