the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
