is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
