she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
