im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
