can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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