around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
