Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
operation have a gay friend backfired
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
