Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
