then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love having hate sex.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
