Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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