Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
