Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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