Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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