and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize