Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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