Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
