There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize