I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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