Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
