Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
