If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
