everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
