i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize