Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
