Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
worst night to have a conscience
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
