the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
