just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
