Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
