Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
