The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It was confusing and full of hummus
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
