I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
