Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
