Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I cannot find my penis.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
