She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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