Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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