butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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