had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
