I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
