somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
