escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
