Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
