this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
