I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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