Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
