that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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