Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
