i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
