I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
